


Three jaegers walk into a bar...

by frizzycrls



Category: Girl Genius
Genre: Bar Fight, Gen, Jaegers are so much fun, Mild Language, Short One Shot, Violence, jaegermonsters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-03
Updated: 2015-09-03
Packaged: 2018-04-18 18:31:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4716245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frizzycrls/pseuds/frizzycrls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Excuze uz,” Oggie said with a grin that was anything but friendly, “Ve couldn’t help but overhear hyu con-vur-say-shun and unlez ve is mistaken, de vimmen told hyu no!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three jaegers walk into a bar...

The bar may not have been the cleanest or prettiest thing in town but Cid was damn proud of it. He’d worked hard over the years to get the money to buy the place and fix it up and look at it now! Actually turning a profit before he hit 40! He’d even managed to get a couple clanks in here to mix drinks on the busy nights and they only broke down once a week or so, all in all not a bad deal.

He was just setting up for a quiet Thursday night when one of the two barmaids he had came up to him with a worried look, “We got a problem, boss. There’s a couple jaegers jus’ came in the door an’ Clyde’s group are gettin’ handsy agin.”

Cid sighed, barely stopping himself from swearing aloud, instead chewing on his pipe as he ran a hand through his thinning hair, “Of all the nights fer me ta give Vince a night off. I’ll go make sure the jaegers don’t make no trouble, Sasha. You an’ Mindi watch yerselves wit’ those boys. If you think they’re gun’ try anythin’ funny, get ta the panic button under the bar. It’ll get the constable here right quick.”

Sasha gave a nod, her red curls swaying, “Sure thing, boss!” She started to head off before pausing, “Wait, you meanin’ Clyde or those jaegers?”

Cid huffed, wiping his hands before stepping out from behind the bar, “Any o’ them! Now git!”

She laughed and gave him a half-assed salute before bouncing off to check on her tables. He shook his head and made his way over to the three standing at the door. Cid drew himself up as much as his stocky frame allowed, “My name’s Cid an’ I own this joint. Yer jaegers right? I got no problem servin’ you drinks so long as thats all yer here ta do. You boys ain’t here ta cause any trouble, right?”

Three wide and terrifyingly sharp smiles greeted him back, the green one with glowing eyes speaking first, “Ve just here for de dreenks, brodder. No trouble.”

The purple one piped up next, “Unlez hyu count Oggie flirtink vit all de vimmen here!” The other two both hit him on the arm.

Cid chuckled despite himself, “Flirtin’s fine but you boys keep yer hands ta yerselves, got it? I run a clean business here. You want a brothel, you go down ta Madam Vivian’s place.” They nodded and he went back to the bar, just hoping he could understand their weird accents enough to make their drinks.

Surprisingly enough, the jaegers were easy customers. They had no problem paying for their drinks up front and seemed just happy that Cid was willing to serve them. As the evening went on, he learned the other places in town had turned the boys, Maxim, Oggie, and Dimo, away as soon as they stepped foot in the door. Also, he learned that jaegers could drink hard liquor like water.

“You sure you boys want another round? I’ve never-” He was cut off by ugly laughter over at the table near the window. Cid growled as he caught sight of Clyde, town drunk and trouble-maker, picking Sasha up and hauling her into his lap despite her protests and kicking. Mindi's attempts to yank her friend and coworker out of the man's hold was apparently the source of amusement for the group. “I swear I’m gonna kill that-” He never got to finish his sentence as all three jaegers stood and strolled over to the table.

“Excuze uz,” Oggie said with a grin that was anything but friendly, “Ve couldn’t help but overhear hyu con-vur-say-shun and unlez ve is mistaken, de vimmen told hyu no!”

The men tensed, looking over their shoulders with bloodshot eyes. Clyde, the largest of the group, snorted, “Look here, freak, this ain’t any of your business! This pretty one is mine!”

His buddy laughed and piped up, “Yeah! Go lick your Master’s boots!”

Oggie looked at his fellow jaegers with an innocent expression and shrugged, “Hy tried. No veaponz, right? Ve don’t vanna break Mizter Cid'z bar.”

The other two nodded and before Clyde could process the meaning in those words, Oggie’s fist slammed right into his face. Howling, he reached up to cover his gushing nose. Mindi and Sasha took advantage, running for the relative safety of the bar.

Clyde’s buddies reacted quickly, getting to their feet and pulling out knives. Clyde himself staggered to his feet only a second after, “You sonova bitch! We’ll teach you respect!”

Oggie licked his teeth in anticipation, “My mamma vas a goot voman un taught me more respect than iz in hyu pinkie!”

Roaring, Clyde lept at the blond jaeger, only to end up with a fist in his stomach from Dimo, “Tch, hyu slow!”

The drunk managed to grab hold of Dimo’s arm only to be flipped up and swung around by the jaeger. Dimo let go in time for Clyde to crash into one of his own friends and through the table.

Nearby, Maxim practically danced around two of the others. He avoided their blades easily and grabbed their heads before slamming them together hard enough to knock both men unconscious, “Woopzeez! Dey fell asleep!”

Oggie snickered at Maxim’s antics before ducking a chair being swung by the last man standing from Clyde’s group, “Ooo, hy forgot! Chairz iz not veaponz!” He grabbed a neaby stool, “Dis iz how hyu sving a chair!” He struck the man hard in the torso, sending him flying out the window.

Cid could only blink as the three jaegers had rendered all five men out cold in a matter of moments, “Hot fuckin’ damn!”

The jaegers froze, their ears drooping as they looked at each other. Maxim gave Cid a saddened look, “Tanks for de drinks, Mizter Cid. Ve leave moneys for de demages, hokay?”

Dimo gave a tired sigh, “Ve vould stay to help fix it but dey probably trow uz out of dees town if dey don’t try hangink uz agin.”

“Agin? Whaddya…oh nevermind,” Cid shook his head, “Look, you boys have done me and my girls a favor. These guys are always causin’ trouble.” He glanced at the clock on the wall, “You got about six minutes before the constable gets here. Should be all clear in about an hour if you wanna come back then.”

They perked up considerably, Oggie exclaiming, “Ve ken come back?! Really?!”

Dimo gave the unconscious men piled near the broken window a look, “How hyu goink to eksplain dis?”

Cid scratched himself on the chin, “Them? Oh they got in a brawl with each other and knocked each other out and Sasha knocked the last one out with a whiskey bottle.”

The barmaid grabbed up a bottle and strode over to Clyde, looking smug as she gave him a solid whack with it, “And now its even true!”

Oggie grinned at her, “Rwoar! Hyu hit him goot, sveethot!”

Cid sighed, “Alright boys, now git!”

Maxim saluted Cid as they left, “Ve’ll tell all de jaegerkin about dis place! Iz lots of fun!”

Cid just shook his head and started cleaning up the mess. Oh well, he supposed there were worse things than being preferred by jaegers.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first new fic I have written in quite some time and it is unbeta'd so any constructive criticism is welcome!
> 
> Twenty points to whoever can guess where I got inspired (practically borrowed) with Cid


End file.
